A scandalous exposé that rocked the Kundalini yoga community, Premka White Bird in a Golden Cage: My life with Yogi Bhajan. Is the story of a 25-year-old seeker who, in the 1970s, was held hostage by a malignant guru who held indentured slaves for several decades of his tenure as a self-proclaimed spiritual master, a sexual predator, liar, and manipulator who played with his devotees lives like pieces on a chessboard.
An earlier version of me might have wrapped another cozy layer around my many layers of felt victimhood, dependency, and ultimate powerlessness that reflected the pain of my own self-judgment, recrimination, and rejection.
There is a different, possibly more mature, essence unfolding in her story.
Throughout her narrative, Premka is clear to present the seed of conflict within herself. In this #metoo era that often involves the lynching of the male transgressor, she walks an unusual line of self-authority, stating:
“I had given him the power to guide my choices and actions…I resolved to defy, to override, my rational mind, to disregard my own intuitive voice, to dedicate myself to following this spiritual teacher wherever he might lead me.”
There is no point where she points to her guru as the perpetrator, she tells her story and the reader is allowed to make her own decisions about how she feels about Yogi Bhajan.
The dyadic power dynamic of master/student, guru/follower is revealed for its potential corruption and limitations, and now we are left with the communities that gathered around the authority figure. Left to think for ourselves. To establish our own navigational system, and to learn, as Premka says:
“to sense a deeper and more spacious connection to my own True Nature. I learned to meditate in silence, in stillness, and to be guided by the inner compass that had always been there, quietly leading me through my entire life journey.”
Premka owns her participation in her life decisions and points to an understanding of her deep, ingrained childhood wounds that contributed to keeping the door closed on that golden cage. I wrote to Pamela Saharah Dyson to thank her for writing this book and inviting us all to contemplate our own. She took the time to respond and I am grateful that she took the step, the risk, the brave choice to overcame all to write and publish her story. It gives me hope and strengthens my own voice.
While working from home has lost its original lustre, attending sessions from the #embodimentconference between yoga classes, business mentoring sessions with #laurier and #rhyzeventures was spectacular. It is by far one of the biggest, widest reaching conferences that I have ever attended. Getting to sit and listen to teachers I have admired and studied for generations is inspiring and a honour at the same time. I felt blessed to be able to sit in my sunroom and share space with those who have dedicated their lives to the study of embodied practices, philosophy, ethics, anatomy and so much more. Witnessing the work with @AlannisMorrissette, @MarkWalsh and others willing to put themselves out there for all of us to learn and grow.
The #embodimentconference is an outgrowing of what began for me as a child. I learned that music, movement and …. space could help me be with my world in a way that was less … fractured. I found my way to dance classes, aerobics classes, trained to teach movement and life led me along a path of healing the early wounds and developing tools to manage the traumas that have come and gone.
I have heard praise and I have heard criticism of the organizers of the conference. I say it is a hard job to be human and flawed. It is important for everyone to be aware of power dynamics in all relationships and maintain good space. There were awesome presenters, ordinary presenters and some who were really just not for me. Regardless of the flaws the conference brought us all together to learn, listen, move, discuss, explore, grow and bring back into our lives, families, communities a little bit more of what the world is doing about “being here now”. I am grateful, I am awake and present. I am ready to learn more. Currently reading “The Body Keeps the Score” by Bessel Van Der Kolk and “Premka: White Bird in a Golden Cage” by Pamela Dyson and have a long list of books to read, videos to watch and courses to take.
So much to unpack. I hope to see you in class in the coming weeks as we share the unpacking of depth work in movement and relaxation. We are sharing Integrative Breathwork live in studio at Sayza Hot Yoga and online for those who would like to practice with us. Saturday, November 7, 2020 at 1pm. The experiences of the conference have encouraged me to offer this work live online and continue to support our community with the tools of embodiment.
The conference is open and free again this weekend. https://theembodimentconference.org
Here is a link to an important open letter to you, me, Mark Walsh the conference … https://medium.com/@tadahozumi/public-letter-to-mark-walsh-and-the-embodiment-conference-ab9319ee4b69
Thinking, moving, remembering to smile and let it go. What can I let go of and still be here now…..
